oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
