i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize