Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
