At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
