I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
