shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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