and you said cock pushups were impossible
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When are your genitals available?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
