Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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