O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
