i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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