We named our party play list daddy issues
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I need a beard to bite.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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