Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I deserve this hangover.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
