fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
