google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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