Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Everything about him screamed your future.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
