They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You're like the curious george of whores
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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