I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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