I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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