I wish i was in the wii world.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
