I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
