I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
