Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So squirting runs in the family.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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