we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
