I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
