best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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