the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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