I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
