Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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