I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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