my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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