when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
