i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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