I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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