I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize