There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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