so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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