Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Couch. On fire.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
