I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
