sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
