im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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