I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
