so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
