can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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