Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
