let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
