I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
