what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
