Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just tell him i said nine months
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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