CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
