How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
my poor anus
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
