Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
