Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
