omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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