let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
