At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
