He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
