I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
