There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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