what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
