Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
