The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
