If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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