Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
