Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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