Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
