I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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